Fingering a woman well is an important piece of being able to fuck a girl good. If you can make her feel good with just your fingers – she’ll definitely want to take the next step. Or, you may just enjoy making her feel good if you aren’t going to have sex. Making a woman moan and cum, and finally beg you to fuck her is very gratifying.
It all starts with the howtofuckgood.com mantra “use your senses.” Pay attention to the physical cues on your girl. After some good making out, and playing with her breasts, you should have a pretty good idea if it’s time to make the next move – down the pants. You might notice that her face has turned a little red, her lips are bigger – a little swollen. She looks at you right in the eyes.
There’s a few tests you can run to get a sense of whether she’s ready for your hand to take the plunge. By now, your hand is probably under her shirt. Put your hand firmly on her upper back. Slide it down the middle of her spine to the top edge of her pants. Do you sense hesitation, or is she receptive to this move? If she is, then go ahead and slide down further so you are touching her ass underneath her pants.
How is she reacting? Does she seem to like it? Even if she does, don’t take the plunge just yet. An important thing to remember every step of the way to being a good fuck is to tease a bit. You want her to feel anticipation about you putting your hand down her pants. If you just go right for it, that’s no fun. Sure, you can do that later on in the relationship when you have a quickie, but early on, you want her to want you. And the best way to do that is to constantly bring her to the edge of whatever action is going on – so that she wants, and sometimes begs you to take the next move. Note: this doesn’t mean that you should be timid at all. When you are teasing her and dangling her over the edge of the next physical step, you should be in absolute control and confidence. Relish in the fact that you are making her want you. Pay attention. If you aren’t making her want you, stop for the night.
So now your hand is on her ass, underneath her pants. Enjoy that for a bit. Stroke her ass in a circular motion. Now, with your hand still underneath her pants, slide your hand around to the front of her pants, bringing your hand upward so that your hand gets back up to the edge of her pants as you circle around to the front of her tummy. Circle up to her breast and grab it firmly. Touch her nipple a bit with your thumb. Then, circle around so that your hand is once again on her back.
See how you’re building anticipation? You were playing with her breasts, then, you sent chills down her spine, played with her ass a little bit, and just when she thought you were going to plunge your hand down the front of her pants, you didn’t. Hopefully you paid attention and got a feeling for whether or not she wanted you to put your hands down her pants. Did she start to bring her hands around to stop you? Did she curl up her legs or tummy a bit to try to prevent you from grabbing her down there? Either of these are signs she isn’t ready to go to the next step. If you get signals like this, do not try to take it to the next step. If a girl has to stop you, that can kill the mood for the whole night. You’re better off ending your date and leaving her wanting more next time than taking her to the point that she stops you.
Now it’s time to repeat the process and take it a step further. Slide your hand down her back again until you are touching her ass again. This time, play with her panties a little bit. Hopefully she is wearing something g-string like with a relatively thin strap in the back. Gently put your finger underneath this strap and brush your fingertip side to side against her skin under this strap. Now gently tug this strap upward. Slide around to the front a bit, so you are basically pulling up her panties so they create tension on her pussy. Remember, you’re being very gentle, but you’re sort of giving her a pussy wedgie – gently! Now release a bit and pull back up on her panties a bit. You’re now essentially touching her pussy without going down her pants. Watch out for her cues now. Are you getting a bit of a moan from her? Any reaction at all? Hopefully she is liking it.
Now, you can start really flirting with the idea of putting your hand down her pants. Place all of your fingers flat against her tummy, and slide down a few inches below the waistline of her pants. Circle down this far, and circle back up. When you circle back up, run your fingers along where her legs meet her tummy. This is a good erogenous zone. If she is really slim, you might be able to feel where her hip bone juts out here – this is how you know you’re generally in the right spot. This is a sensitive area to tease around a bit, and it doing so should start to get her warmed up.
If you’re still getting good physical cues from her: her kisses are still passionate, she is breathing heavily, her lips are swollen and she is turning pink in the face. You’re ready to take the next step. Kiss her, then pull back a bit and look her in the eyes. We’ll assume she’s wearing standard jeans. Confidently, deliberately, and swiftly unbutton her button while looking her in the eyes. If she hasn’t stopped you, you’re good. Ideally, she probably just took a really deep breath in anticipation, and her heart is beating faster. Well, yours probably is, too. Now kiss her as you unzip her pants.
You may be thinking that now is the time you finger her. And it’s not. This is something to remember all the time when you are being a good fuck: any time you have an interruption, you have to move back a couple of steps. If you just took off her bra, you don’t go straight for her tits – you need to put your hand on her back and circle around to work your way back to her tits. If you just put on a condom, you need to go back to kissing and foreplay before entering her. Any time you’re about to touch a really sensitive area, you need to build back up to it.
So now that you know you’re good, it’s time to tease a little bit more. Try a couple more runs of your hand down her back and to her ass. Make a few circles with your fingers flat on her lower tummy. You can gently brush her with your fingertips on the area where her legs meet her tummy. All while kissing her. Now you’re ready to reach down.
Place all four of your fingers flat against her tummy, and slide your hand down to between her legs. DO NOT try to stick a finger in her at this point. You have to warm her up first. Cup your entire hand over her vulva (the word for the entire outside area around her vagina). You’re literally kind of warming her up right now. Gently circle your hand around over her vulva. It should feel kind of like your hand is over a mound of warm dough. Only move your hand around a few millimeters, circling about once per second. Keep very light pressure early on, and continue kissing her.
You should be getting very promising physical cues from her at this point. Heavy breathing. Some moans. Her face is probably bright red from all of the heat and blood rushing through her body. You’re probably feeling like a champ, too.
After you’ve circled around a bit with your hand cupped over her vulva, gently push your middle finger in. Not the finger tip, but actually the whole finger, just lower it down so goes between her lips. If you haven’t already, you should feel that it’s very, very wet. As you discover this – as if you can help it – now might be a good time to let out a deep groan, to let her know how much this turns you on. Don’t be afraid to say “god, you’re so wet.” This usually amps things up a bit.
Don’t slide your finger into her just yet. Now, you’re applying the most pressure with your middle finger – not a lot of pressure, mind you. Slide up a bit and start to circle around with this finger – about 1 or 2 centimeter circles – about two per second. Don’t let these details distract you, though. Let your ring finger join in, so now you’re circling around towards the top of her vulva – toward her belly. You should eventually notice that part of her pussy – towards the top, where her lips meet, has gotten kind of firm.
Welcome to the clitoris. You have found the clitoris. This is your friend. This is the single most important spot to touch on any woman. This doesn’t mean you should be rough with it all the time – though sometimes you should. This doesn’t mean you should be gentle with it all the time – though sometimes you should. This doesn’t even mean you should touch it all of the time – though you definitely should sometimes. You have to handle it with finesse and sensitivity. Learn to connect the way you treat this thing with the physical cues your girl gives you. Learn to know when to be gentle with it, when to be rough with it, and when to not touch it at all. There are no special guidelines for this – you just have experiment.
Notice though, that you discovered the clitoris because it was firm. This brings up a good rule of thumb – any part of the body that swells – gets very sensitive, and should be paid attention to. Lips swell when you kiss them. Breast swell when a woman is turned on.
And yes, penises swell, too. Hopefully this won’t ruin the female anatomy for you: the clitoris and the dick are very similar. In fact, when we’re being formed in the womb, these two parts come from the same general piece of flesh. Now, they are very different; but a clitoris has as many nerves all bundled up in it as a penis does. Wow.
So, now that you’ve met the clitoris, get to know it well. Try stroking it slowly and gently up and down. See how your girl reacts. Try rubbing it in a circular motion. See how your girl reacts. Try rubbing it really fast – but only after sufficient warming up.
After you’ve played with the clitoris a little bit, you’re ready to stick your finger in. Slide your middle finger down between her lips, and slide your fingertip in. You should definitely get a reaction. Slide it all the way in the begin with, then slide it out. Place whatever pressure you have upwards, towards her front. This is generally the more sensitive part of the inside of her vagina. Slide your finger in again, and this time, while it’s inside of her, turn it in a circular motion, so that you place pressure on all sides of the inside of her vagina at one point or another.
While you have your finger inside of her vagina. Don’t forget about that clitoris. A good thing to do is let the ball of your hand towards the lower end of your palm, just above where your wrist meets your hand, rest upon the clitoris and apply some pressure to it. If you’re skilled, you can let this part of your palm rub her clitoris a bit in a circular motion, while your pull your finger in and out of her vagina.
If it feels like it’s ready, try sticking a second finger – your ring finger – into her vagina. You want to alternate pressure as you do this: sometimes, you want to be pressing hard against the top of the vaginal wall, and other times, you want to be letting your fingers sort of “float” in and out of her vagina. You may feel her vagina start to tighten around your fingers. If this happens, you can tease it further by taking out the second finger so you are only fingering her with one finger.
While you have your fingers in her vagina, feel around a bit. Try gently pressing and rubbing different parts on the inside of her vagina to see how she reacts. If your fingers are very long, or her vagina is short, you may be able to feel a bump the size of a grape at the end of her vagina. This is her cervix. Sometimes you might find that it feels good for her if you twirl a finger around the outside of this bump. Additionally, you may notice a part on the front part of the inside of her vagina that starts to swell when you rub it. This is her G-spot, and it’s every bit as important as that clitoris that you found earlier. Remember, if it swells, it’s sensitive.
There’s no perfect formula for how to finger a girl every time, but there are a number of different techniques that you can try. Mix them up to see what combinations work for your girl:
- Rubbing her clitoris gently in a circular motion with a couple of fingers.
- Strumming her clitoris rapidly side-to-side – almost like a guitar string.
- Yanking up aggressively with your middle and ring finger while they are inside her vagina – like you’re picking her up by her pubic bone (the bone that’s in front of her vagina). Be cautious with this one. You really have to work up to it, but you’d be surprised how aggressive you can be, and how effective this can be.
- Sliding two fingers all the way into her vagina, and sliding them up and out so that they rub her clitoris.
- Rapidly pushing 1, 2, or 3 fingers in and out of her vagina aggressively, letting the palm of your hand slap against her clitoris.
- Letting one or two fingers “float” within her vagina – letting her vagina tighten around them, and pulsing them in and out with short strokes.
Really mix it up to see how she reacts to everything. But, if you find something that’s working – keep doing it. If the intensity with which it appears to be working seems to slow down – then switch to something else. If you’re being aggressive and it’s not working so well, switch to something more gentle. If you use these techniques with finesse, remembering to use your senses, pay attention to your girl’s physical cues, and only work up to aggressive stuff gradually (though backing off from aggressive stuff to more gentle stuff can work wonders), you can finger a girl good.